Yoohooo! - I am getting married

The backdrop : the potential bride’s parents have come to my place to have a look at me and speak with me & family. They are seated in the drawing room with my dad, granddad and mom.
The potential bride’s parents are referred as they (he) and they (she) for no specific reason.

(Me enters with a half-drawn smile and takes his place)
Me: “Namaste”
They (he & she) : “Namaste”

(Pause for 2 minutes )
They (he) : “kab se Bombay mein hain aap?”
Me : “chaar saal se”
They (he) : “Kaun si company mein kaam kartein hain?”
Me : “ Star India”
They : “ Woh TV channel wali company?”
Me (agrees) : “Ji”

They (She) gets reminded of her favourite K-shows. Gives a smile along with an expression that she is partially overwhelmed.

They (he) : “To bambai kaisa lagta hai aapko”
Me : touchy point, “theek hai”
They (he) : “aaj kal to media mein bahut advance ho gaya hai”

At this point everybody (they (he, she and others))joins in with their own pearls of wisdom on new economy and old economy, responsibility of media etc.
They (he) : “ aapney MBA kahaan se kiya hai”
Me : “ Post graduate course in communication from MICA, Ahmedabad”
They (he) : “to yeh course MBA nahi hai”

They (She) looks visibly disappointed.
Me : "MBA ki tarah hai, par advertising aur media mein specialised course hai"
They (he) : “ to yeh Star to International company hogi ?”
Me : “Ji”
They (he) : “ to apna package kitne ka hai?”
Me : “ @#$#@$ Rs per annum”

They (she & he) now are relatively at ease.
They (he) : “acha life-partner kaise chahiye aapko”
Me is flabbergasted at the question. Thinks how would they(he) modify his daughter to fit (yet to be stated) bill?????

Fortunately at this point Me’s surprisingly progressive grand dad steps in & Says unheard thing like “ Hum kaun hai decision leney waley. Yeh to ladki aur ladka decide karengey??”
(They (she and he) are struck by this openness from the potential groom’s side. In their mind,they have been sold to me and me's family.)

Me : “ Aap, ladki ka biodata + photo papa ko de dijiye. Mein dekh kar bata doonga”
Me asks to dad now : “papa mein jaoon ???”

(Me’s dad nods in agreement.)
(Me leaves the room. Tea + Snacks continue.)

How I could have made my first million?

Confession first : In the last 15 months of my ‘sensex’ual relationship, I have not been a direct beneficiary of Stock market movements (by direct I mean monetary).
However, I am convinced it is the most wealthy & realistic information space. There is no bigger/larger landscape to increase knowledge and more importantly one’s understanding of how world really works.

Though money-making (for the sake of clarity, returns in excess of 30% per annum) might not be the only goal, it is a necessary (if not sufficient) measurement criterion. What follows now is a list of variables that I encountered during my relationship.

1. Social skills – network of other invested / interested friends who have links with the “real” players of stock markets. Here you would hear words like “sunitha textile ka tip hai, 25 taka 4 din mein”, “agley hafte aksh optifibre mein chaabuk lag jayega”

I think: Good option. As does not suffer from the drawbacks of half-baked knowledge which comes out of options below. You make good friends in the process.

2. Clairvoyance - Knowledge about future (either with partial data or mostly without any). Future positions, open interests, Call and put options.

I think: Is always deceptive and dependent on present understanding of future.

3. Psychological skills - Patience (the GNR style), Guts (Lance Armstrong style), Risk-appetite (LN Mittal style)

I think: Indispensable skill sets. You can’t make money without these.

4. Broad geo-politico-economic-socio trends – for instance per capita shaving gel consumption, better rains in Kerala, Drought in Kenya, Ethanol, etc and their effect on your portfolio.

I think: Most fascinating of the lot. Has wisdom of 100 “freakonomics” built into it.

5. The experts / brokerage houses – here you would here terms like “short-term target, its’ a trading stock not an investor stock, this sector is out of fashion, looks over-valued even at FY’08 earnings, I am still long on nifty.”

Broadly these guys are of two breeds

a) Analytical experts–Think chart patterns and numbers are panacea for all. Overflowing with words like strong resistance, trailing stop loss, bottom-formation, 3 inverted U chart formation etc.
b) Company fundamentals – basics & long-term pointers towards a company in terms of its sector, management, Financial ratios.

I think: Defies a basic logic, why would anybody help you make money? Always listen to them with twice caution.

6. and finally, the over-whelming FATE. Most convoluted problems in India have been found to have solutions here.

I think: Ever solacing reason. “Samay se pehle aur bhagya se adhik“ -. kabhi nahi, kuch nahi. The € (or the error term) of the multiple-regression equation. But sometimes plays bigger role than all the above put together.

Spitting on the street – excruciating irritation, why?

I know I am risking myself of being outcast , but I have to clarify my stand.
These thoughts came to my mind while I was at (“beautiful and clean”) Juhu Chowpatty a few days back.
Though by no means can an act of spitting (or littering) on the streets is condonable, my only contention is with assuming a morally superior stance in comparison to the offender.
This is so because at some level we are partners in the crime. Actually we are much bigger and serious offenders.


Let’s explore this more, why do you think such an act irritates you –

1) you think it is polluting the city and makes the city more un-livable?
2) or the act ( of spitting or littering) is not exactly appealing visually?
3) or is the ease of un-doing that act itself a very compelling argument?


Let’s look at the argument holistically. 80% of city’s pollution problems are because of the top 10%. Who consumes /waste (Lavish consumption ~ wastage) more than 80% of a city’s resources (Electricity, water, Fuel, Road space, residential space etc)?

Basically, we, by our very belonging to the top 10%, are guilty of more damage to the city. Of course, this does not absolve the “spitter”, but it definitely validates bigger offense from our side.

Since, the first argument (1) is not really an argument; I will have to conclude that it is the 2nd or 3rd , which is a complete matter of personal tastes and comforts.

But responding to the 2nd & 3rd argument masquerading it to be 1st is NOT fair.

Now this brings us further to two arguments which should be discussed at this point

a) Why should we (top 10%) feel guilty about reaching a social and economic status?

“I am a self-made-man” theory is obviously false. 99% of those who are in the top 10% are there because of random reasons (more intellectually put hereditary and social capital that we were born with). The earlier we believe in the chance playing a greater role than our merit; the earlier we come on ground.

b) Does the “spitter” really like to spit on the street?

This probably is the most action-able & address-able part of the problem. I doubt people would want spit or litter if there is decently convenient alternative available. No one really does it for kicks or as an art-form.

If you disagree, which I am sure you will, please go to Juhu Chowpatty today evening. </DIV>

Retrogressive ?? - I think not.

There is an inherent pleasure in adjusting around something you really enjoy and love..

Sometimes I think human beings like being in routine. With all due respect to "change-being-good" school of thought.... the reality is that Change sucks.... from the weather changes , to TOI's Cover page Ad innovations, telecast time changes of your favourite shows..

I write this after realising that Star World has discontinued Seinfeld (2300 hours). What the hell! Some would argue, that you can always buy the entire season DVD at throw-away prices and all of that.... well am sure you can do that but I believe it will kill the pleasure...

The zen and the art enjoying TV shows (especially one's you really look forward to) is to adjust your daily routine according to it AND NOT WATCH B2B Episodes on Sunday. It almost is like your daily dose of candy as a kid...
With all merits associated with Digital recorders and related gizmo (TiVO , DVR)... I think these devices will always have a strong barrier... that people like the idea of taking little strain to catch with their favourite shows... I doubt if significant numer of people are actually recording their favourite primetime shows and viewing them without ads on weekends.

This holds true even for Hindi GE space. In a lot of observational studies , women confessed on how they have adjusted their household chore routines ( Making dinner, serving dinner, serving second helping etc etc)...
These shows sort of connect in a very integral way with the life and routine of audiences.. Probably that's why verticals on weekends seem like a great "logical" idea only...

I foresee that trend to come to News Channels. There will always be need of a 30 minute new bulletin ... like it has been happening for a decade and a half... The Channels in the south still have a very strong affinity to 2100 new bulletin time (even after having 24 hour news channels)


So, therefore, if the product (Media or any other) is integrated into daily routine of the consumer, the product needs to move in tandem with the environment in which it has been getting consumed over time.. The product in itself should not evolve or change faster or slower than the context.

George Costanza - at his best

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!?

I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, go collect all your super, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm! Amen."

-Perspective on life by George Costanza

-

or......

excerpts of a conversation between George and Jerry

-

George: You have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If she is allowed to infiltrate this world then George Costanza as you know him ceases to exist. You see, right now, I have Relationship George but there is also Independent George. That’s the George you know, the George you grew up with—Movie George, Coffee Shop George, Liar George… Bawdy George!

Jerry: I love that George.

George: Me too and he’s dying, Jerry. If Relationship George walks through this door, he will kill Independent George. A George divided against itself cannot stand!

Dating Allowance !!!

What would you call it.. Hyperactive Judiciary or Adventurous Lawyers or .... Sometimes I think these kind of frivolous cases take away so much of the limited time that Judiciary has.. I mean its a zero-sum game at the end of it...right ? Would'nt you rather have Judges hearing more serious and consequential cases than this... ?

Though Wipro denies presence of any such allowance, But I would really want to know the details of such a practice... so very innovative... :-)
I think finally HR has realised the most effective way to reduce attrition and happy employees!!!
Am waiting to hear Mrs Premji filing a suit now!!!

http://ia.rediff.com/money/2006/nov/23wipro.htm?q=np&file=.htm

Long term secular bull run - huh ??

Do not want to sound like a spoil sport, but the article from Economist is an interesting read for sure.

There have been enough China India, India China comparisons. This article however highlights why the 8% to 10% growth dream of the gang (read Montek, FM, PM and....) might not deliver. Read on... to get more worried...

http://www.economist.com/finance/displaystory.cfm?story_id=8326793

Urban Sickness or Modern sport - you decide

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZuqJvyOTcE

Life and all that..

Excuse me for getting a lil' bit philosophical here. Actually a lot of times, I think, philosophy and pseudo-intellectualism are used interchangeably. Like the Langda tyaagi would say it in Omkaara " Chutiye or Bewakoof mein sirf a dhaagey jitna farak hovey hai " :-)

It somehow seems like a conspiracy ( which amongst the sophisticated, is called "maaya").

The number of things that lie outside one's reach is a constant. We stretch and strain and keep increasing the circumference. but in the long term, i am not sure if it serves any good. So the key is either to enjoy what lies inside the circumference already or like the effort to increase the circumference.

It then starts to seem like a process similar to a kid accumulating sea shells at the beach. There is no good use of that at home and mom might throw it in garbage. but he still loves to continuously increase his ownership till the time he realises the futility of it. and this ever-deceiving pleasure/happiness is keeping the world going.

How difficult is it to be simple?

Had an opportunity to visit Kerala a few days back (not the urbanised Kerala mind you).
I was moving around Calicut (Kozhikode) to smaller places like Tirthala, Mezthoor, Kottakal.

My accompaniments :- Newspaper - Hindu, Book - Short stories by RK Narayanan, Car - Ambassador. and the landscape was painted with only Green , Blue Colours..

It really made me think the extent to which our (or at least mine) expectations, drives, accomplishments are relative and contextual.

Beautiful things have to be , infact always are, simple.

One pakistani poet has probably echoed the same thought -( not in the verse but in the choice and simplicity of language used)

" Tere aaney ka pata deti hai, Ehsaan hum pe ye hawa karti hai "
or.... the famous Mehdi Hassan ghazal

"Baat karni mujhe mushkil kabhi aisee to na thi,Jaisee ab hai teri mehfil kabhi aisee to na thi"

At some level we are already witnessing this trend. People and their choices are no-longer only towards high-end gizmos. There are small market segments emerging which are the "Simplicity-Seeking". Nintendo (not the greatest gaming boys anymore) have strategically moved their gaming business towards simplifying the experience to the consumer.
Similar is the trend in mobile phones sets, medication, fabrics / fashion.
Pleasure of watching a Amol Palekar movie. (think there more to it then just a temporary respite!!!)


Dunno if there is really a connecting thread or I am already hating Mumbai too much :-)